Today, I've been an absolute arse. I cannot believe how incredibly rude, mean and fucked up, for the lack of a better word, I've been to baby. It was uncalled for, immature, and well fucked up!! Sorry baby. Even though you've forgiven me, I can't bring myself to forgive myself. I'll eternally remember my transgressions, I'll strive to make up for my mistakes. I promise! But really, you've been so understanding and forgiving, and I've been such an arse so frequently nowadays its quite worrying. I guess I still have some demons within me that I've yet to quell, perhaps instead of resisting and fighting them I should embrace them, make them a part of me and accept them. Sigh, its sad that I have something so precious but yet because of my fears and my insecurities I push her away. I promise that I'll come to terms with it soon. . . Sigh . . . I'm feeling very lost and confused, can't really think now . . . the only thing I have in my mind is one word: Sorry. I'm sorry baby, I really am. I pray that soon, I can move on from here and be someone that can walk and stand tall without pulling back. Sigh. . . well. . . here's a sombre wanderer, signing out . . .